For a Fight the Frump Friday inspiration: Don't be a slouch. Get off the couch. Get walking and moving. From the couch no treadmill no really, couch, I learned this week that YES, aspartame is not bad for you. Diet Coke lovers rejoice! There it was on the news right after eating all the rice you want and other "myth" busters about food.

I wasn't sure if I should be cynical about what I was seeing but it really seemed that ever major hurting industry had just paid this woman to give every dieter in the country the permission to throw away everything they had learned (which changes annually anyway) and do whatever they wanted. I am sooo confused. I'll stick to my baby spinach leaves, cheese, nuts, dark chocolate and red wine. Oh don't forget to throw in fish and meat and the occasional colon cleanse to wash it all out. Works for me.

On that note. Nahhh, I won't go there this week but I get daily SPAM for colon cleanse products which I have never bought and don't plan to. I would post what I see in the e-mails but I might get kicked off some blogroll somewhere for doing it. They are positively gross. Has anyone out there tried the nasty stuff?

On a different note, I do want to remind everyone about a topic that somehow keeps getting farther and farther down in my posts. I writing feature stories for Story of My Life which stores memories in permanent storage for people who have an great story to tell but aren't bloggers, etc. and need the encouragement to write it out and save it for generations . Since Story of My Life is launching the story part this year, they need feature stories. You can go on and sign up and add stories and chapters anytime but if you know someone with a story that needs help writing it and would really inspire others, I would love to talk to you!!

Okay, back to healthy living and eating for fighting the frump. Okay, coffee. I have been a week now without Splenda in my coffee and I have to say that I am proud to be getting used to it. It hasn't stopped me from finishing off a bag of Easter candy in one fell swoop but the determination to get healthy has allowed me to drop TWO, count them TWO pounds this week. I am now where I was two weeks ago before Spring Break. It is such a roller coaster when you are a self-admitted compulsive sugaraholic!

Today I am getting my last free wellness session at the YMCA and we are focusing on FREE WEIGHTS. That works – free session, free weights. Last of my free sessions. Last of my ability to raise my arms above my head (since I'll be so sore). I want to learn about using weights in the right way so I can do them at home to WHITTLE the weight!!

Go have an awesomely beautiful day. Tuck in, tuck up. Trim the nosehairs. Pluck the eyebrows. Take on the world!

I got nothing. Nothing with nadda latta to say today. Sooo,. . . . on that note, I will say that everyone tells you artificial sweeteners are bad. They tell you the chemicals are terrible in your body. They'll ruin you, give you cancer, keep your sweet tooth alive.

Does that stop me? No o o o  o.

So, what actually brought me to my knees yesterday, that keep me from adding Splenda to my coffee this morning and actually jumpstarted the no-Splenda resolve was the following. Well, I wish I had taken a picture because visuals are very motivating.

I walk into my house after a trip to the city and there in the middle of my kitchen floor is my bag of powdered baking Splenda, torn apart and ruined. My dog didn't even like it enough to finish it off and she has a worse sweet tooth then me. After screaming at my dog and reaching down to clean up my precious artificial chemical powder, I noticed gluey glumps of white substance where the Splenda had mixed with the dog's saliva and now was forming glue-like mounds on my floor that were hard to clean up.

EWWWWW. . . . …  .

People, I am cured for at least a day. That gunk is probably what is sitting in my gut right now from days and years of Splenda consumption sticking everything else to the intestinal walls.

Okay, quick here and I have to get the kiddies to school but this week's news from the treadmill (and in case you haven't read already, I get on the treadmill at the YMCA and have 6 attention grabbing channels to switch between for 1/2 hour. By the end, my mind and body are racing and I have lots to share.)

1. Martha Stewart, the cooking maven, is totally crushing on Matt Lauer. She made sure he knew he was getting the "big" egg. She saved the "large one" for him that ended up having twin yolks inside much to his feigned surprise. How did she know? She "candled" it to find out. Give me a break. Stick to your own cooking show, Martha, and stop flirting with Matt.

2. Chelsea Clinton got hammered by the media this week and I will honestly admit I am not a fan of the Clintons but if I have to hear one more word about her non-answer, I am going to scream. Taxes, Economy, Global Issues, anyone? anyone?

3. The good Dr. Gupta tells me this week that premature babies have a lot more struggles in life with academics, etc. So now I get to blame my mom? Dude, get a life. I did just fine. Sorry, just feeling a little edgy today. Must be the lack of sweetener in my coffee.

4. Finally, and I am sure you are sighing relief about now, there are inexpensive facial sunscreen products out there just as good as the expensive ones and if I didn't have the brain fog I learned about last week I could actually tell you some of them. I guess you will have to go in search of them on your own and let me know.

Now, go check out the other awesome Fight the Frump Entries at Fussypants!

I just got back from a spur-of-the-moment vacation to Mom's where I BA-LEWWW my diet into chocolate and marscapone bits. Spurred on by all the "Hey, you look great. How are you doing it?" comments, I proceeded to indulge first in small ways and then bigger and compulsively bigger until my eyes were seeing sugar spots.

Fortunately, the vacation was only 5 days. It all started with an innocent bag of dark chocolate peanut M&M's. On the 10 hour drive to my parents house, I let myself have the delectable treat to help me stay awake. (And, I must take a moment to highly endorse audio books for keeping the mind alert and awake. The trip down was A Thousand Splendid Suns. The only thing I hate about audio books is that your family looks at you weird when you sneak out to your car for that last half hour that the trip just doesn't cover. Or, you invent reasons to go to the store just to hear the ending. It is like stepping in and out of a movie theater without getting to the punchline. But, I digress.)

To counteract the diet temptations on Day One, I did the following:

1) drank plenty of water.

2) dusted off the treadmill and jogged for a half an hour – listening to the never-ending audio book on my IPOD Touch. IPODs Rule!

3) resisted the incredible-looking apple cake a neighbor dropped by (who loves to cook but stays skinny by giving the treats away!)

4) ate instead the yummy low-fat, low-sugar dessert my mom made:

Weight Watchers Key Lime Cool Whip Pie

INGREDIENTS:

1-0.3 oz. box sugar free lime-flavor jello

1/4 cup boiling water

2-8oz. containers light key lime pie flavored yogurt

1-8oz. fat free, non-dairy Cool Whip, thawed in refrigerator

1 prepared nine-inch reduced-fat graham cracker crust

INSTRUCTIONS:

In large heat-resistant bowl, dissolve gelatin in boiling water. Stir in yogurt with wire whisk. Fold in Cool Whip with a wooden spoon. Transfer to crust and refrigerate two hours or overnight.

5) Ordered the kids Rabbit Food (red peppers, celery, carrots) meal at the restaurant as a dipping alternative to chips with the artichoke/spinach dip.

DAY TWO-FOUR: Ways my diet began to break down:

1) Finished the Weight Watchers Pie, eating more than qualifies as healthy (and then headed towards the apple cake).

2) Godiva Chocolate Brownie Sundae at the Cheesecake Factory. Need I say more. Actually, the children ordered them to share and couldn't tolerate the incredible richness that I had no problem devouring. Just helping the kiddies! Waste not, want not, right?

3) Marscapone Birthday Cake for my dad. My mom ordered a little something different for my dad's birthday which was incredible. I started with half a slice. Then later, another half a slice, and then later. . .; Well, you get the picture. I should I have just eaten a whole slice, gotten sick on my stomach and threw it up. Okay, not really, but ending with half a slice would have been the best course of action or half of a half just to enjoy the flavor and let the rest go. I wish I could eat like the children do — One bite will do ya!

4) Gooey Honey Bun on the ride home. Need sugar, need to stay awake, must eat honey bun instead of 1,000 splendid other options that would have done the trick.

5) Favored long naps over long walks and cardio attempts. Note to self: stay with first day resolve or at least keep up the cardio! It was amazing how quickly I fell back into old habits that do serious damage to my waistline.

People ask me how I can drive 10 hours straight. The answer is the same as staying on my diet – You have to want it bad enough (which is tough when you are compulsive like me and are easily tempted). But, when my parents ask to see their growing grandchildren, my husband is gone on a house building spring break missions trip, and I need a good excuse to eat Marscapone, I am there, diet or no diet. There is always after vacation to get back on track.

Coming home however was the tough trip to make. Even the weather seemed against it. It rained. My back ached and I ate that darn honey bun which made my stomach ache all night after I got home. A truck drove by which read "Jesus is coming back and He is mad" stenciled on the back. Man, what a depressing day. Fortunately, I found a cheap James Patterson book on tape at Tuesday Morning before leaving and it held my attention the whole way home, between "Mom – I need to go potty – Mom – I need to eat – Mom – I , I, I . . . ;

When I got home, there was a still about half an hour on the book on tape and I don't have a tape player in the house. Anyone need anything at the store? I am going out!

Well, there's to frump on the rump this week. Maybe next week will have better news but for now go fight the frump with more tips from Fussypants!

Last week I started the theme of making The Most of Frump. Today I wanted to share more of my frumpy moments that few will ever see but all contribute to the public person I want to be:

1) Hair Curlers – I just think hair curlers are the silliest looking thing that ever did exist and I love walking around the house while my hair dries in them dreading anyone, even the UPS man, showing up at my door. To me it is almost as bad as walking around naked but not quite. Now that is a scary thought.

2) Rough Drafts- I actually went to a writer's critique group today and shared with fear and trembling the first chapter of my children's book that I completed yesterday. Yeah, good news! They actually liked it!!! I might just have a chance. It was worth putting it out there despite a knotty stomach. It was harder though critiquing another person's work and being willing to speak up if something didn't sound quite right and hoping you didn't hurt their feelings.

3) Voice Practice – If only my mirror could talk — It might double over and crack up. I have done the Huh-Huh's, the ping pong and pear breathing and notes — in my bathroom mirror and in my curlers, still waiting for my hair to dry. Praise the Lord the kids are at school. They might just think Mommy has gone nuts!

4) More treadmill time at the Y – In this fast food generation, I absolutely love getting on the treadmill with my earphones and switching between the six TV's for news and tidbits for half an hour. The time just flies. I almost hate going to the weights where I can't plug in!
    In case you want to know what I learned in my channel surfing on the hard hitting news of the week, here are a couple of this week's highlights:

    — Women have on average 10 purses.
    — Women carry on average 67 things in their purse.
    — Chiropractors love women with big purses.
    — Carol Burnett is the kangaroo in Horton Hears a Who.
    — She feels her life goals are complete now that she's been a kangaroo.
    — She had to say her lines without anyone else reading with her.
    — Geraldine Ferraro got in hot water with Obama.
    — Billary Hillary ain't too happy about it.
    — More murderers have been discovered but I didn't write down which so I forget.
    — It is going to rain this weekend (which came on about 10 times in a 30 min. span)
    — Martha Stewart says to "Dam and Flood" when you ice sugar cookies with line of piping around the outside and a watery icing that spreads by gravity on the inside. She offered Matt Lauer the chance to help her rather then the cute little girl on her left that looked more eager to do so.

Well, that's how I fought the frump this week and what I learned. Go fight the frump with more tips from Fussypants!