I sit down in a post-Cabernet Sauvignon funk to think about why I blog, why I put my thoughts out for the world to see, why I would rather be writing than watching TV right now, what my goals for 2010 might be and then, the front door opens as if by magic — my children know when I actually sit down to take a break — interrupting the few moments of solitude.

"Can you come here for a sec?"

"No. Why?"

"I think I dislocated my hip."

"Okay, then come in and take off everything [namely, snow clothes]."

"No way. I'm going back out."

"Fine." (though this last part isn't even heard by the assumed hip dislocated daughter who in one second declares she is in pain and the other is running back outside which would be physically impossible if she really hurt herself.)

I just got home from trudging through the snow to catch up with a neighbor who is going through a tough month. We talked about life, God, God's ultimate plan and the tests we have to go through whether we like it or not. She relates to the analogy from her recent classes towards her Masters and I can relate b/c I have to give those tests as a professor. I tell her that I tell my students that the tests are going to be hard but I give the material to succeed. What they do with that material is up to them.  Some excel. Some fail.

I think about life that way. God knows what tests are ahead and He gives us the material to handle them. What we do with that material is up to us. I could stop the tests my students take but how would they learn? How would they process the material and learn from it? God knows what we need to know to handle the trials in life. He also gave us His word (the Bible) and then the Holy Spirit in our hearts to be prepared for what life brings on.

I am feeling totally convicted right now that I need to read my Bible more. I need to stick to my budget more. I need to stick to my diet more. I think I am having a pre-New Year's Resolutions moment. January 1st is coming fast and I already have my list started. There are so many things to think through for 2010. So many things to do, to praise God for, to achieve, to accomplish, to enjoy, to cry about, to cry with, to experience. Where do I begin?

First of all, what am I truly trying to achieve through blogging?

What am I truly trying to achieve out of life?

What glorifies the Lord?

What honors Him?

How do I fulfill my obligations fully?

How do I do one thing well? Or, am I created to do multiple things and nothing to perfection?

Should I write my book this year? Should I write more posts . . articles  . . . books? Should I focus on my classes and community obligations more?

Oh, so many questions. Nothing like a little red wine to make the mind introspective. Forgive me. I am signing off now.