Fume the Fat

Fightfrumpbutton Yesterday started off okay. I woke up. Woke the kids up. One daughter had no clean uniform shirts so we had to do a quick handwash and stick it in the dryer. This shirt issue plus a few more made getting out of the house a minor olympic feat. Needless to say, I was spent from a busy week and just wanted a good half an hour on the elliptical at the Y just to renew and energize.

Now, you must know that I don’t care if I have a lick of makeup on to go in the Y. Everyone is working out and grungy. BUT, ask me to go into the grocery store before or afterward and my eye starts twitching. I just can’t do it. I need to go back home, shower, shampoo, dry, curl, apply at least the 5 minute makeup face and then I am ready to face the public. Now the Y people are perfectly good people but somehow I feel amid the pain and suffering we share that they of anyone could care less whether I wear makeup or not. Just so we are on the right track, you must know going into SCHOOL without makeup and my hair fixed is even more of a travesty to my fragile ego than the grocery store.

Well, this being the case, my daughter left her lunch at home and we figured it out on the way site to school. If you consider my routine of dropping off the girls at school and going straight to the Y, then you will realize that to go back home at this point means to be tardy which means walking the girls into the front desk in my pre-Y face – sans makeup with hair pulled up. Sorry, ain’t going to happen. So as we proceed through the "How could you?" lecture, I came to the mature mom decision that the grocery story couldn’t be as bad as the FRONT DESK at school, so I ran in, head down, all the way back to the Lunchable aisle and in the most un-good-mom way basically rewarded my daughter with a coveted lunchable even if she did wreck my routine and force me to face my greatest fears of being seen undone by the grocery store clerks who honestly just looked happy to get my money and really didn’t look at me at all. They were the smart ones. Looking up might have turned them into stone. But, I’m being a little hard on myself.

So, my daughters got of the car at school – barely in time – and yelled back, "Mom, you had better not be cranky when we get home." Like they had nothing to do with it. It surely had nothing with me, the fact that I was totally PMSing, worn out mentally and physically from a totally insane week, and just wanting to be alone from the world.

And so I arrived at the Y, mad at myself for yelling at the girls, mad at myself for not getting here all week, mad for spending money on lunchables, just plain mad. When you are in this state, there is nothing better than to plug in the earphones that access the 6 news channels, drown out the real world and just begin to step with arms swinging. Burn, baby, burn. It felt so good. Once you get used to a good workout, there is nothing like it and you really do miss the exercise when you can’t get to it. The day proceeded much better as I went to meet a friend at Target, finally invested in THE black T-shirt, a standard element of the Suburban Mom’s uniform and headed back home for a well-deserved nap.


Ahh, cartoon porn comics the joys of being at home. There is nothing like sleep to iron out the frump eye-bag wrinkles.

Sorry – I have no news from the Y today. I wasn’t listening very hard. But, I am sitting here trying to think if I retained anything at all. Hmmm. ..  nope. Wait! hmmm. . nope. Wait! I think there was something about a plastic surgeon who wrote a book called My Pretty Mommy to help kids deal with their mom’s plastic surgery. The artist made him look like a big hunk. The world has gone nuts, I tell ya.

So, go milf free porn site fight the frump and check out more entries at Fussypants!

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  1. That was funny.

  2. Oh my stars above….I have THAT Target gem of a shirt. I so, so, so love it! I don’t ever try on clothes in the store but I wish I had that day because, had I known how great that shirt fit, I would have bought it in every color. When I went back…they were all gone except in XS and that ain’t happening!!!!!

  3. I love how your daughter said “mom you better not be cranky” bwahahahahhahahhaha

  4. Cute t! And I think it’s great that you make time to work out- it would have been so easy to use your change of plans as an excuse not to work out- good for you!!

  5. You’re a natural beauty, don’t fret about the make-up! Of course that’s coming from me who does go to the grocery store and even field trips (bowling yesterday) in my work out garb! Horrors.

  6. I face the same dilemma, need to have on at least some make up and something neat. I like your T, need to go and get one if they still have.


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